It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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