..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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