I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
