question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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