You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
