i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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