He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize