There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
