I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
