You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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