Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Someone came in the potted fern
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
