i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am midnight drunk by noon
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
