Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
