you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
