the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Randomize
