Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
