he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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