I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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