yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
