hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Success! We fucked roommates!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
