omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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