Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The Olympian is in my bed
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
