we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
