HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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