what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
