Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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