I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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