i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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