Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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