Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
