Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
