So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
