quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
