It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
