He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
