His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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