If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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