he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
