Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
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rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
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I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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