Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.

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(703): How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time. http://tfl.nu/qie0

Replies (2) Good night (1488) Bad night (535)
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(703): View more from Virginia

party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.

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(703): party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come. http://tfl.nu/yys7

Replies (12) Good night (1160) Bad night (507)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.

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(704): She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone. http://tfl.nu/3kwt

Replies (42) Good night (838) Bad night (3678)
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(786): View more from Florida

I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.

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(786): I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me. http://tfl.nu/ua0x

Replies (12) Good night (4589) Bad night (1235)
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(503): View more from Oregon

My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.

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(503): My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours. http://tfl.nu/f53e

Replies (40) Good night (14945) Bad night (1014)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early

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(412): For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early http://tfl.nu/4ftf

Replies (62) Good night (7152) Bad night (1062)
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(585): View more from New York

im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed

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(585): im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed http://tfl.nu/eq1c

Replies (89) Good night (9237) Bad night (1735)
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(804): View more from Virginia

he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.

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(804): he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america. http://tfl.nu/700m

Replies (16) Good night (3904) Bad night (938)
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(518): View more from New York

Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos

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(518): Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos http://tfl.nu/5fyh

Replies (2) Good night (2175) Bad night (881)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.

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(709): I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her. http://tfl.nu/w26o

Replies (10) Good night (2173) Bad night (1134)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Let's just rave with boners that last for hours

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(410): Let's just rave with boners that last for hours http://tfl.nu/lox1

Replies (27) Good night (1920) Bad night (1192)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.

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(412): Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever. http://tfl.nu/jfd9

Replies (11) Good night (1910) Bad night (667)
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(816): View more from Missouri

The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

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(816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp

Replies (5) Good night (2864) Bad night (415)
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(289): View more from Ontario

"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"

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(289): "you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly" http://tfl.nu/d33o

Replies (6) Good night (785) Bad night (320)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...

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(920): So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works... http://tfl.nu/tg33

Replies (5) Good night (510) Bad night (356)

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