but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.