You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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