I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
