question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
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I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
