Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?

(1-514): View more from Quebec

Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.

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(514): Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"? (1-514): Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan. http://tfl.nu/v19o

Replies (5) Good night (2654) Bad night (506)
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(816): View more from Missouri

YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!

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(816): YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!! http://tfl.nu/o3fb

Replies (29) Good night (973) Bad night (5006)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.

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(910): that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time. http://tfl.nu/0332

Replies (11) Good night (917) Bad night (3674)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.

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(828): Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy. (1-828): Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid. http://tfl.nu/eif0

Replies (8) Good night (765) Bad night (3669)
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(360): View more from Washington

While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.

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(360): While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever. http://tfl.nu/mdyd

Replies (16) Good night (6617) Bad night (908)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

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(815): I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse. http://tfl.nu/0lkw

Replies (22) Good night (8194) Bad night (1785)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

and then ....

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.

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(215): he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas. (1-215): and then .... (215): he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut. http://tfl.nu/qu6h

Replies (24) Good night (6168) Bad night (1736)
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(727): View more from Florida

Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?

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(727): Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail? http://tfl.nu/rsvd

Replies (3) Good night (2117) Bad night (981)
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(425): View more from Washington

I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.

(1-425): View more from Washington

No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.

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(425): I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool. (1-425): No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes. http://tfl.nu/wqbv

Replies (2) Good night (2499) Bad night (850)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer

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(+44): We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer http://tfl.nu/3muy

Replies (6) Good night (1290) Bad night (639)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.

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(202): I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now. http://tfl.nu/oo06

Replies (5) Good night (2949) Bad night (776)
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(503): View more from Oregon

If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.

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(503): If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit. http://tfl.nu/71x6

Replies (11) Good night (2260) Bad night (790)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!

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(920): You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?! http://tfl.nu/js4d

Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (314)
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(425): View more from Washington

Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat

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(425): Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat http://tfl.nu/7oyq

Replies (0) Good night (305) Bad night (518)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority

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(506): I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority http://tfl.nu/l5i9

Replies (4) Good night (798) Bad night (341)

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