The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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