i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
