Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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