She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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