FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
