Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize