Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
