Well douche your snatch and let's go!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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