I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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