playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
