you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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