this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
