Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
