if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
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theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
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just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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