You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I need help removing her.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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