Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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