just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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